Messed up me

I've been messed up for a few days
It is because I lost someone who I love
When I say ' I love you ', I'm really fvcking meant it
It isn't a joke or a sweet word, but FACT

I really want him back to my life
To keep on our love story
I can't let this story end up so fast
I've decided to spend the rest of my life with him
I put my heart on him 

But he just throw it away now
He gone with the stupid decision :(
Which hurt me most
He don't even hear my words again
Those pains are getting deeper 

I even  can't sleep for couple of days
Just think about him and what's going on next

Damn worried bout him

I worked without clear mind 

My thoughts and heart is on him

And I also can't eat for few days

Have no appetite to eat

The worst one is I cried in the middle of the night

I cried all my pains out so I can fell better

But I still looked awful 

Like a lowbat person

Really killing me :(

I can't stay like this without him

Did he care bout my situation now ?

He has another way by working somewhere
Or make up with his mom

He absolutely has another way
But why should he choose that stupid way :(
I don't understand
He is risking his life
He don't look like the old one

I miss the old one of himself 

I will always love my beloved boy ♥
范伟伦
26-06-12